MBBS

As some of you may already have known, through myself or through msn or facebook, I have passed the final hurdle of my 5 years of medical school, with lots of bumps and hilly rides along the journey. I have penned my happy and unhappy moments througout the whole journey in this blog, and I wonder if i'll be able to keep this constant once I start working, but sure will try.

I am still taking it all in, it really felt like yesterday I have stepped in to my 5th year of study and last night that I did my revision and today that I took my exams and got my results. The past year has been THE most stressful part of my study life- juggling work and fun and trying not to think of the worst as the days close on to the finishing line. Yet it had been the most exciting and adventurous and emotional time for me. Relations between my housemates as well as friends got closer as we studied and crammed the OSCE books into our head in 1 year and regurgitating all these info in just 3 days of exams! But it's all worth it! There are tears when some did not make it, but prayers kept for them that they will also make it through in November! And during this time the IMU bond becomes even stronger! I daresay I would not have made it through without this group of people supporting me along the way. I'm gonna miss house 77 sooo much (perhaps not so much as house 25-7, but enough to not make me hold my tears).

Holding the title MBBS now, I feel I have finally really stepped in to a new chapter of my life now. It will be a very exciting chapter of my life, and will be the longest chapter of my life with mini-chapters in between. I owe all this to everyone that I have crossed paths, people that I network with that made me who I am, but foremostly, my family, who has really been the one behind me, like a pillar of strength, giving me the support I need when I complain of giving up when studies became to tough for me. I feel really blessed that God has granted me such great family, who by in by, tells me that no matter what happens, they will support my decisions, but that I should never give up on my ambition that I have have held on so dearly since the age of 9! There, it is all paid off. Hence, I owe a big toast to my family and their neverending love and prayers for me!

My life has been about moving from one place to another since kindergarten, just by how life takes its turn on me, moving from penang to kuantan then to singapore then back to penang and to adelaide then to KL and for the past 3 years in london, and, now to Sunderland. it really feels like a roller coaster ride. there would be lots to complain about so much moving, but I have always taken this in stride, perhaps because i am actually enjoying it. but i really hope someday i can settle down, and keep my life stable in this aspect and maybe the prospect of having a family can be placed in my plans.

so, during the past weekend after results came out, i think i have never felt so happy in my life. there has been doubts about whether i am ready myself to start being fully responsible for my patients, but i will put these doubts on hold for now or forever, as i enjoy the momentous moments with everyone close to me. after the results were out the IMU gang and Sam and Ruth went out for dinner at Ten Ten Tei jap restaurant located at Soho for an immediate celebration, and more celebration during the finalist George's disco. I daresay I have never danced so freely and happily in my life- hmm, except of cos when i dance with joy in church!

with only 3 hours of sleep after the disco, I woke up and left for a trip to Brighton with Sam and Jeng. The trip was really fun and definitely lots of walking and just relaxing and humming while having more walks and some sunbathing by the beach. listening to waves and seagulls, it was such a breeze and great way to enjoy myself. I really do miss the beach! we met Norizan there and went to the pier which was lovely, and took the world's oldest and longest running electric train from the pier to the marina- i felt like a little kid on a toot-toot-train again! i came home with a sunburnt face unfortunately!

as if all these drama wasn't enough for me, last night was spent with the IMU juniors savouring Glen's sarawak laksa and playing Settler's of Catan (a boardgame for those who do not know). but the drama also doesnt end there.. there will be more celebrations over the next two weeks, the closest one coming is a grad dinner among us close friends, and then all these closing with the biggest event of my life- the convocation!

Praise God for this moment!

Currently God Will Make a Way: The Best of Don Moen By Don Moen see related

GOD WILL MAKE A WAY...

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way.

By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today.

God will make a way,
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

looking behind me

Eelane, in her blog, has reminded me that yesterday was my last official working day in my medical school life! this feels surreal, but finally, a sigh of relief. i haven't learnt more than i already knew about respiratory medicine, except that resp medicine is a very important specialty and involves a very specialised Multidisciplinary approach with various subspecialities- my consultant being a cystic fibrosis specialist! what i have learnt however, is a lot of patience and the skills of really being a junior doctor (as i'm thrown out on my own to become one when the F1 in my team was away for a couple of days), and adapting to working with different people of very different personalities ( which is very difficult at most times). communication is of utmost essential. when communication is broken, conflicts would definitely arise and patients' lives put at stake. this usually happens between people of different fields not understanding what the other person's roles are. in some ways, i have to admit that the Interprofessional practice curicullum implemented by st george's has its benefits.

i'm still not sure if i have put down my thoughts about being a physician. but i sure admire them for their dedication to their work. my consultant stays in till at least 6pm, long after the junior doctor in my team leaves for home. no wonder many people have the thoughts of becoming a GP- much easier exams and much relaxed lifestyle, whatmore, the pay is good too! and GPs treat a much more vast diseases compared to specialised physicians. hmmm... something to ponder for the next 2 years.

The inevitable

People come, people go. This is something that I've finally accepted, but certainly one which I would not like to agree. It is assumed by many that I would find separation easy as I've lived in many places and people really come and go from my life very frequently. Yet, I can tell you honestly, every single goodbyes has been hard for me. And again, on the contrary to what others think, I can hardly hide my emotions. If you know me well enough, you will realise I don't. When I laugh I'm happy and when I frown I'm upset. Simple as that. So you can see why I hate farewells.

The past 5 months have really taught me about friendships. In fact, the past 3 years has slowly adapted me to the inevitable of meeting and leaving people. Nice and not so nice people, which is probably a blessing in disguise. Being in the medical field and working with various people in the hospital, we meet different people everyday of very interesting characters, or some which make us want to knock some sense into their heads or some that would leave such a strong impression on your for life. Yet you know that your encounter with them would be really brief and most of which you will not see again in future. And though you may not cross paths again, what's most important is what you learn from them, be it good or the bad.

There are some, however, who are worth many of our tears, whom you would wish to keep in touch. I have found such dear friends in these past 3 years living and studying in the UK, and these are the people whom I truly believe will stay in touch with me for a long time. These are the people who sticks with me through thick and thin, at all times. There is a certain someone whom I will miss most dearly when I leave London, who's there for me, when I'm happy and when I'm sad, when I'm heartbroken, when there's a cause for celebration, and when I'm go crazy over food! And of course no doubt our fanatism over Adam Lambert and American Idol Season 9. Haha.. I will miss you so so so much!

There's another person who seems to cheer my day up in the hospital early in the morning by your greetings and your big smile. Even just by saying "Are you alright?", of course with genuinity, really makes a difference in a person's everyday performance at work. Thank you. You are gonna do great in whatever you choose to do in the future because of your great big personality.

And then there are all the junior doctors, who're willing to take some of their time away from their busy schedules and demands of nurses to fill this and fill that, to help us students in our preparation for our exams, and for something even greater, which is to follow in your footsteps to becoming a doctor. I am sure for certain, you have given a great example and we will definitely teach our students with dedication in future.

Of course there are 4 people that will leave a hole in my heart when we part- my flatmates! I'm not too sure if we will still be as close as we are now, but I treasure the time we have left together, and the times we practice OSCEs  together and also our Thursday-is-cinema-night outings.

So yeah, I have accepted but Í'm not going to submit to the irony of farewells that everyone else does and just move on immediately. Because I know that a friendship can still be maintained by just a phone or sms or msn or email away!  Many thanks to the advancement of technology (a phrase which I have time and time again quoted on my blog)!